A visit from St Nick

A visit from St Nick

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The whole KA crew were gathered cozily there
Reading through the latest released issue with care;
Then they all felt drowsy and got ready for bed,
While visions of penises danced in their heads;
They tossed and turned and tumbled all night,
The dick jokes and poop jokes had given them fright;
When out of the blue there arose such a clatter,
They sat up in their beds wondering what was the matter.
“Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!
“On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!
“To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
“Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”
“Holy crap!” thought the crew, “Holy crap! Could it be?”,
“It’s Santa! It’s Santa! Let’s go! Quickly! Quickly!”,
They snuck down from upstairs just as fast as they could,
And raced over to where the Christmas tree stood:
They stopped short, with their jaws hanging close to the ground,
They stood frozen in awe, shocked at who they had found:
He had a broad face, and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
“But, hold on” thought the crew, “something’s not quite right”,
They got closer and closer then jumped back in fright!
“What’s happening here? Is this jolly St. Nick?
“With his pants round his ankles and taking a shit?”
He left a big steamer at the base of the tree,
And he smiled at the gang with a face full of glee,
Then he grabbed a hold of his mighty big dick,
Slapped the crew ‘cross their faces did jolly St. Nick.
Then the crew started up and jumped out of their beds,
“Oh, thank heavens! A dream!! It was all in our heads!”
They laughed and they cried “Oh my my, what a fright!”
“No more Knight’s Atari last thing late at night!!”,
Then they heard a faint noise far away, out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good shite!”

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